CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: Systems and the Black Community

Systems and the Black Community

It is common to think that particular individuals or groups cause problems in a community. This kind of thinking is automatic….We tend not to see the interconnections between people and the mutual influence that takes place. Murray Bowen (1978) called this “observational blindness;” that is, we have difficulty evaluating our own observations of others and their influence on us in a systemic way. We “can fail to see what is in front of us unless it fits into our theoretical frame of reference.”

Polarization and the Healthier Church
Ronald W. Richardson, Page 27.

          People, families, and communities do not exist and do not function in a vacuum. Each is dependent upon, and reactive to, the others. Practitioners of Bowen family systems have been using this theory to understand human behavior for almost fifty years, but I have not seen a comprehensive study of Family Systems in communities of color.

          Whenever anyone tries to talk, or write about the problems, or the “issues” of the Black community, I think it is imperative to 1) as much as possible, remove the white, euro-American filters and lenses. 2) see the problems in a systems framework, as inter-woven with history, outside influence, and the very special circumstances only Black America has endured. And still, no white person writing of this will be correct. We can only listen, and do our best to appreciate.

          Anxiety is the key to most human interactions. Anxiety gets passed around in a system in a variety of ways: Gossip, scapegoating, cutoff of one or more members, also via illness, addiction, and mental illness. In addition to the all-important process known in systems theory as triangulation, in which two members of a family or a system relieve their own anxiety by talking about, isolating, or diagnosing a third, there is also generational transmission, in which these coping methods are passed, albeit unconsciously, from one generation to the next. My observation, after studying and applying Bowen Family Systems theory throughout my ministry, is that it needs to be addressed in an entirely different way in cultures other than the white, euro-centric culture Murray Bowen had in mind when he devised the theory in 1955.

          Still, it can be applied with results. Let’s start with anxiety. Anxiety is present in every system, and what makes the difference between a highly functional and dysfunctional family is how the anxiety is handled, and by whom. In my many interviews, I came to the conclusion that the Black community lives in a state of perpetual anxiety; indeed anxiety is possibly all they have ever known. When people say things such as, “It’s as if we’re still slaves,” (Cissy/Julia) or “What about slavery now?” (George Railey) or “I don’t feel free. I feel like I’m trapped,” (Paige Dawson), I take them at their word. Even though the white majority, in Springfield and Washington County at least, wield all the power and control all the resources, they grossly underestimate the intelligence and the fortitude of the historic Black population. Their frantic and almost laughable efforts to maintain the status quo must by necessity marginalize and silence African Americans who demand parity and progress.

          Hence, there is no refuge for Black residents other than their homes, their churches, and their neighborhoods. They don’t feel comfortable on High Street, in many places of business, or driving out on country roads at night. The layers of safety and security that white Americans take for granted do not exist for Blacks regardless of their status or wealth. Their fears are not paranoia, and their tales of mistreatment are not hyperbole.

          Every arm of the “system,” from real estate, to law enforcement, to education, to city and county government, conspires against them, and cannot be trusted.

          Case in point: I was with Pansy when she went to court for the hearing to regain custody of Keeland. Two prominent lawyers in Springfield had been assigned to represent the child (and by extension, her mother, Adrienne) and Pansy had an attorney from Danville. Three of Pansy’s relatives and friends were there as well. But she asked me to come, and I know why. Having a white person there are as a witness meant something that having other Blacks did not.

          The two lawyers were Susan McCain and Carroll Kelly. You might recall Kelly from my interview with George Railey—it was on his farm and his father’s farm that George, his father and grandfather sharecropped. Pansy had met a man who was willing to testify that Adrienne was actively involved in prostitution, and that in fact he had driven her to some of her “jobs,” and waited outside with Keeland in the car while she went in. The lawyers treated him as if he were a common liar (he was white) and the judge told him that he was confessing to a crime by admitting that in court. Why was he doing it? For the little girl, he said.

          Then Pansy’s lawyer brought forth evidence that the man with whom Adrienne was living had been convicted of domestic violence. In fact, Keeland was being left with him alone after school while Adrienne worked. Still, McCain and Kelly launched their attacks on Pansy. What were they?

          The woman has no criminal record, and has been active in church and community all her life. They tried to prove that she takes Keeland to the doctor too often, suggesting that she has a mild case of Munchausen’s syndrome, and they also jumped on her for calling Keeland (then about seven or eight) “the baby.” When the judge asked Pansy why she called her “baby,” Pansy simply said, “because she’s my baby, she will always be my baby.”

          The trial was a farce and a fiasco. Two years later, Adrienne died of a drug overdose. Thank heavens, Keeland was finally living with Pansy and Big Daddy by then. But it was Exhibit A for me in how disconnected Springfield is in terms of even beginning to comprehend or relate to its Black community, 24% of its population.

          Besides the systemic racism that Black Springfield confronts daily, both in the community and in the world, there is death. So many members of the community die, too young, by violence, and through illness that could have been prevented or perhaps caught earlier. The mistrust of allopathic medicine and the lack of wholistic living resources contribute to these deaths, but so does the massive stress and anxiety which spans generations.

People have a biological need for each other. We are not comfortable with isolation. Some type of connectedness with another is essential and we are constantly monitoring the interactedness of that connectedness. Threats to our links with others create anxiety. Bowen has called this binding force between people, this interdependence, a force for togetherness. A varying amount of peoples’ energy is devoted to establishing and maintaining this connectedness or feeling of togetherness.

Conceptualizing Change in Relationship Systems.
Michael E. Kerr, MD

         

What can be observed when meeting with individuals is the intense bonds of family in the Black community. Almost without exception, in every interview I connected, a relative came into the home, unannounced and clearly unexpected, bringing children, picking something up, or just “stopping by.” These casual visits were met with delight, and introductions were made all around, and sometimes, the family member would join in on the interview. I found this to be the inverse of not only my family, but almost every white family I’ve known with a few exceptions (and those were white, but ethnic minorities, i.e. Italian Americans). One way that many families have of coping with anxiety is togetherness.

Growth in family systems theory is measured by one’s ability to self-differentiate. To take a stand and be clear on a position without concern for others’ reactions. The degree to which this might happen in Black families in Springfield would be interesting to observe. In my opinion, the two things that might cause the most consternation would be a) for a family member to come out as gay, and 2) for a family member to be an atheist, or disassociate from church.

There were two or three families in which I observed or was told about instances of distancing and cutoff. Julia said her daughter does not speak to her. Mary is apparently completely estranged from her only daughter, who had her own brother’s sentence increased to forty years. Tommie Poole suggested some distancing between her sons and Australia. And I am not sure about George Railey. He does have kids and grandkids in the area. I wondered aloud if they came around and cared for him. I couldn’t help noticing that his house needed a good dusting and vacuuming. He did say that one grandson mows his lawn. His eldest son, however lives in California: “He married a white woman,” and although it seems he has done quite well, “No, he don’t come to visit.”

Cutoff and distancing, while they may alleviate tension in the short term, do not address the long-term ills of family dysfunction, and in fact may perpetuate it.

…self-differentiation, by which I mean (a leader’s) capacity to be a non-anxious presence, a challenging presence, a well-defined presence, and a paradoxical presence. Differentiation is not about being a coercive presence, a manipulative presence, a reactive presence, a pursing presence, or an invasive presence. It is an emphasis on the leader’s own self rather than on that of his or her followers. It is in no way an autocratic, narcissistic, or selfish presence, even though it may be perceived that way by those who are not taking responsibility for their own being.

A Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix.
Edwin H. Friedman, 1999, Page 286, The Edwin Friedman Estate

There are people in the community that could be tapped to lead a movement for restitution and ultimately, reparations. Australia Poole is in many ways a self-differentiated leader, but it was challenging for him to stay in the position when people would not follow through and support his efforts. The minister at Johnson Chapel has the kind of non-anxious presence to provide a fulcrum for discussion and leadership to emerge. He regularly challenges the members of the congregation to do better, show up, fulfill their commitments, and grow in faith as well as in their daily responsibilities. Carol Adams, Tommie Poole, Wanda Livers, and others I interviewed have the strength of character and the will to remain self-differentiated and work toward a goal. Anyone who can say, “I won’t be caged, “(Wanda) “I won’t let them get away with it,” (Rhonda) has a self. Pansy has a self. Interestingly, each of these women were crystal clear about where their determination came from. Rhonda Trigg mentioned her dad. But she also had an uncle who attended all of the school board meetings; from him, she learned to stay on top of the school people and be an advocate. Almost all of the women mentioned their mothers and grandmothers as examples and role models of courage, bravery, and fortitude.

          The most difficult part of leadership is to remain self-differentiated when the forces for togetherness begin to call upon you.

          The church is an all-important piece of the systems picture in Springfield. For many, if not most, it relieves the chronic fear, anguish, and grief with which they are forced to live. And plenty of scholars will tell you that diminishes the desire to make real change. But I believe the church, by reminding people they are not only the equal inheritors of God’ kingdom, but indeed the original ones, that because of their suffering they are more deserving, can serve as an impetus and an inspiration to make change.

…by well-differentiated I do not mean someone who autocratically tells others what to do or coercively orders them around, although any leader who defines him/herself clearly may be perceived that way by those who are not taking responsibility for their own emotional being and destiny. Rather, I mean someone who has clarity about his/her own life goals; and, therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about. I mean someone who can be separate while still remaining connected, and therefore can maintain a modifying, non-anxious, and sometimes challenging presence. I mean someone who can manage his or her own reactivity to the automatic reactivity of others, and therefore be able to take stands at the risk of displeasing. It is not as though some leaders can do this and some cannot. No one does this easily, and most leaders, I have learned, can improve their capacity.

A Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix.
Edwin H. Friedman, 1999, The Edwin Friedman Estate, Page 13

          Leadership for change in Black communities has evolved. What worked in the Civil Rights era of the sixties no longer applies. The church and the clergy have either abdicated or been marginalized. The most successful movements for change are coming from youth, young adults, sports figures, entertainers, and groups like Black Lives Matter.  But, for the most part, it is not the Black community that needs changing; it’s the white community. And that is a task we will all need to undertake together.